Thursday, October 14, 2010

More Monologue!

I just finished reading Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.

Can I recommend this book to everyone I know? And everyone you all know? I want to shout it's praises from the rooftops. In fact, were there no police to worry about, I'd find a ladder and do that right this second.

At this moment I'm going through and working my dialogue tags, checking for -ly endings and looking for patronizing passages. I'm so happy to be revising with a purpose! I mean, believe me, I understand and have seen first-hand the progress of revision. But still, going through and reading to look for tricky sentences, messed up commas and plot-flaws can only be done so many times before your eyes cross over.

Now I'm reading and revising with purpose, making changes that matter. Already I'm transofrming tricky passages and fixing troubled dialogue. In other words, I'm feeling hella productive.

But, yes. So I had a little, teensy, weensy little writing meltdown the other day. Real tears and everything! Just a little overwhelmed. It's very hard to face something that you've put SO much work into and realize that your writing barely matters. What matters the most (pathetically) is one stupid little letter. I keep hearing the same thing on my queries - "I'd put that book right back on the shelf. I'd never read that." WHICH IS DUMB. Especially when those people see my first 250 words and fall in love. Ugh. Speaking of the first 250 words... I'll be posting that soon. :) Grumble, grumble, query letter, grumble.

Until next time, 

<3, Bethany


  1. Bethany, I like #312! Just a couple tweaks and I think it works.

    1) Instead of "survived" an abduction attempt, maybe "evaded" or "dodged?"

    2) In paragraph #3, is it because her father can't pay up? If so, maybe "When Chloe's father can't make good on some serious debts, members of his household start turning up dead." I just don't know if it's important or not for the query to name the Cannan family at all. Then I'd consider scratching the next sentence about "Evelyn's telepathy becomes a beacon..." and go right into something like, "Chloe ends up as the next target, but what the mafia doesn't count on is Evelyn. Life hasn't granted her many friends, and she will kill for the one she has..." and so on.

    Just my two cents. Other than those two things, at a cursory glance, I think it's pretty darn smooth.

    If you try tweaking it with those suggestions, I'd like to see it again. You got my e-mail?

  2. Clouded by childhood abuse and her telepathic abilities, Evelyn chooses seclusion and self-preservation. That changes when she meets a woman marked with a death sentence.

    Chloe, the daughter of a controversial senator, has just evaded a third abduction attempt. Terrified and alone, she clings to Evelyn - the one person in the world lacking the temperament to put up with her. The two women must learn to find solace in each other, especially when they catch the eye of a powerful mafia family.

    When Chloe’s father refuses to pay his debt to the family, members of his household start to turn up dead. Evelyn knows it's only a matter of time before Chloe is the next target. However, the mafia family wasn't counting on Evelyn’s undying loyalty for her friend. Life hasn't granted her many friends, and Evelyn would kill for the one she has. Or die for her. Whichever comes first.


    Also, I don't have your email, but you can email me if you'd like. It's BethanyRay.Goodman at Gmail dot com.

  3. Ahhh yes, the barfy-ness of the damned query letter...mine is collecting dust. Maybe after a month off I can do it some justice...

  4. Okay you are *so* me in this post. This was me just a few weeks ago. Same editing book, same everything. I was even removing some of the "beats" because I finally realized (I HOPE) where they were needed, and where I'd overdone it a bit.

    And as for the query thing, also me. (Please refer to tomorrow's [Wednesday] blog post.) Isn't it insane? To try and get everything from your entire book into one teeny query? INSANE I tell ya!